Friday, March 23, 2007

She Knows My Name!

So I went down to the cafe this morning in search of something different for breakfast, rather than the usual teacakes. Today I chose beans on toast (cos that's how classy I am). Camp Eamon investigated the beans situation for me, then called Jana to make it for me (yay!).

Man, it's so like having a wife. She cooks for me, she gave me a wry smile when I said I wanted 4 slices of toast, she then took money from me and I went off to work to earn the money to give to her. And like every other wife I've ever had, her cooking skills are appalling; the beans on toast were an embarrassment.

So to the point, I decided I'd try for the casual and confident smalltalk. I managed neither casual nor confident, but was able to point out that the bread they had in today was different to the usual bread they have (I hope you're all taking notes on this, it's GOLD!). I then asked if this was the bread that they would now always have, and she said, "we have all the whole box" (her English is FANTASTIC), "but I don't know, Dave". The last word echoed through me like a thousand crystal doves; she knows my name! I didn't correct her and say, "no, slaaaaag, it's David", I just stood, watched her mess up my beans on toast, and basked in what might possibly be my finest hour.

The other day I was watching her while she burned me a couple of teacakes, and noticed that she had managed to get flour on her bum. By the way, she has an awesome bum, which is worth taking note of as I'm rarely impressed by them. I wanted to tell her this (about the flour, not the bottomly awesomeness) but didn't feel that I could do that without revealing that I'd spent the last few minutes transfixed by that general area, so I left it.

I have recently started a new game with her called "winning smile". It's a simple game really. Basically, whenever we make eye-contact with each other, I give her my nicest, "non-threatening boy" smile. This forces her to give me her nicest "I love and understand you" smile, and also reinforces in her mind my loveliness, and marriage materiality.

Materiality is a word.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Say No to 0870!!!

So, when you dial an 0845 number you are charged local rate for the call, and when you dial an 0870 number you are charged national rate for the call. However, if you call on a mobile and have free minutes in your price plan, these numbers aren't counted towards your free minutes; they're charged separately.

Which is crap.

Now, all 0845 and 0870 numbers just point to a normal landline number. Companies just use them to look professional. This website lets you input any 0845 or 0870 phone number, and gives you the landline number that that number puts you through to. You can then phone that number instead and save money.

Do it!

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Olympics 2012

Are you excited that...
are now the official 'banking partner' of...

I didn't think you would be.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

New £20 Note Out Today

Excited yet?

First person to get one wins £20. The £20 they've just got.