Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Flippin' Finally!

After 11 months of struggling I'm finally getting a fast as fook internet connection. I have struggled and battled with UKOnline for the last hundred thousand million billion years and they are now enabling my new service very shortly.

At some point in very early December I will be a 22Mb internet chap. OK, they've told me that I can expect download speeds of around 15Mb because of my proximity to the exchange, but I'm going to push and bleed it for every extra bit of bandwidth I can get.

Also I can upload at 768kbps which will also be lovely for increasing those torrent ratios.

I suppose what I need now is for either Graham or Des to tell me whether I am likely to experience any problems from the fact that UKOnline block ports 25, 80, 8080 and 3128 "to maintain quality of service for all our customers, so you will not be able to run a mail or web server".

Also, doesn't this woman look a little strange? She's from the UKOnline website.

Monday, November 28, 2005

I'm Singing Songs of Sorrow

Why? Because, after Paul, Graham, Jimjeroo and I finished performing my 30th birthday extravaganza radio show, we discovered that the recording had been lost for extremely dull, technical reasons.

I'm trying to find out if anyone else recorded it. I've tried person number 1, and still have persons 2 and 3 to ask. In the meantime though, you will find here approximately 50 mins of the show recorded by person 4. Well ... Huds.

Dave, Paul, Graham and Jim - Not the Best 50 Minutes of the Show, By a Long Way

Thursday, November 24, 2005

I've Got a Question

What does a photographer have to ask to get this pose from his subjects?

Because, presumably, they are acting under direction. Did he ask for a standard teenage pose, standard rock band poses, or what? To me it looks like a "just found out that your PC's broken when you wanted to check your email" pose, or a "just discovered that you've run out of milk when you've already poured the hot water into your tea".

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Gran Denies Cultivating Cannabis

Surely she should be found guilty of smoking the stuff based on the picture alone.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Radioshow 18

This is the first radio show where we've forgotten to start recording for a significant amount of time. In this case, about half an hour! Now that wouldn't usually be a big problem, but what a half an hour it was. Pah!

Anyway, here's our 18th radio show in all it's hour and half glory.

Dave and Paul - Radioshow 18

At Last, The Skies Above Are Blue

Finally, after two and a half months on Lycos I have started culling the old heffers. That is, I've started terminating relationships that I don't feel are going anyway, and that I am thoroughly not enjoying.

Firstly there's H - the nearly deaf, mad woman. Well I've been bravely avoiding her for the last couple of weeks. In fact that's not true, I haven't been completed avoiding her, but when it's come to text and Lycos messages it would be fair to say that the name "Mr Replies" doesn't really suit me. Anyway, she challenged me on this last night on Lycos (she's blocked on MSN) and I told her that I wasn't avoiding her, I was avoiding everyone. She then replied with severe grump, which I think has terminated the relationship.

Also, she's person no. 1 on the nagging to meet me front.

It's so much easier when they're grumpy isn't it, Gr*h*am?

Secondly, there's T - the teacher in Norfolk(ing way). Well she no. 2 on the list of people who are nagging to meet me, for the twofold reasons of doom (sex and relationship). Well, in some ways she's a lovely girl, at least I think she qualifies as foxy, but she's also somewhat unpleasant. Unpleasant in that, if I ever tell me anything about myself she has a quite skillful way of twisting it against me. She also says that I'll be a crap counsellor because I'm too abrupt. What.......evorrrr!

So anyway, a week or two ago I was chatting away merrily to someone - let's call her Lisa, as it's her name, and T came online and started talking to me. I said I was talking to someone else and so couldn't promise my 100% attention (I didn't say it was another goyl) and T did strop her way from here to Stroppyland, until in fact I was giving her pretty much all of my attention. She said that if I couldn't talk to her then I should just say. Anyway, a couple of nights ago she came online and I was chatting wholeheartedly to delicious Lisa (that's her full name) and so I said to T that I couldn't chat right then. She stropped off immediately and hasn't returned.

So, these two have probably been the two most prominent Lycos women I've been chatting to, and I'm now very glad to see the back of them. And believe me, it was harder work with H than it might sound. I'm not very good at telling someone I don't want to know them, because that's really hard, isn't it Gr*h*m?

Now I have terminated Lycos interactions before, but they've generally been a lot less longevitus than these, so there's been no chance of feelings having developed. Although, it's still very hard ending an interaction with someone who's evidentally really had to stick their neck out to contact you. But if they're 18, or 68 then it's just got to be done.

Anyway, it's Friday and I'm off to look at my phone, now for the first day not full of messages from H.

Thinkin' About My New PC, Thinkin' About Its Case

That box there is my new PC (well, in January it will be). I wonder if it will come with all the Ikea furniture and obviously emotionally uncomfortable woman.

Here is it with the HDTV ready screen:

Have I mentioned that I'm quite excited about it coming? You know I'm not all that convinced by Windows XP Media Center Edition. Seems a little crap, but at least it's still basically Windows, so I can ignore whatever extra add-on bits I don't get on with. At least it comes with an exciting remote control.

Now I know what you're thinking. That PC case isn't very customisable. I won't be able to add in extra stuff, replace the motherboard etc. Well I don't care. I've already got a cool PC and this will be a second one. They will be happily networked together for media sharing joy, on my (should be) 22Mb broadband connection.

I am slightly dubious about it being made by Evesham, previously Evesham Micros. I mean, don't they have a bit of a dodgy reputation? But then I can't really complain because I am getting it pretty much cheap as free through my work.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Don't You Just Love The Sun?

After Tony Blair's failure last night to get his amendments to the anti-terror bill through, The Sun newspaper has launched an attack on the 49 labour MPs who voted against the government, branding them traitors.

The Sun has asked, rather surreally I think, that all of its readers print out the list of names and stick it on their fridge "as a reminder of the TRAITOR MPs who betrayed Britain."

Now is it me, or is that absolutely mental??? Please let me know if you stick it to your fridge? And please note that this list of traitors includes both Clare Short and Diane Abbott; too really quite balanced and liberal MPs.

Oh, and by the way, I wholeheartedly support the failure of this bill to get through. happily accept the increase in the number of days that a suspected terrorist can be held to 28, but 90 is just mental.

This is a weirdly political post for me. Here's a picture of a dog to make up for it:

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Tuesday! No Work Tomorrow!

I've decided to take a break from work, due to skipping lunch, and despite arriving half an hour late, and write a post. I have no idea what I'm going to write about, and in fact as I logged into Blogger I intentionally stopped myself from thinking about what I would write so it would be fresh and spontaneous when I got here.

And here I am.

Well my new PC is ordered, and you'll probably find me going on about it rather a lot for the next couple of months as it's not being delivered until January. But still, 32" of joy, 1/2TB hard drive, dual digital TV cards. It's going to be mungous - funkmungous.

Here's a ferret:

Oh yeah, the picture at the top of this post. Well, that's Christina Ricci in the fabulous film Buffalo '66. Check it out peeps.

Look at the softness of that ferret's nose. Note how it's not moist, but it's not too dry. Amazing huh? Now, how many of you are thinking about wanting to kiss it? I bet, all of you! If you're not, go back and look again. I mean, really really stare at the nose.

OK, what next? Ah yes, you should probably get hold of a copy of this book, The Insider, The Private Diaries of a Scandalous Decade.

It's basically the diaries of Piers Morgan, ex-editor of The Mirror who was sacked last year. OK, it's not his authentic diaries; he wrote them in retrospect, but had extremely thoroughly kept records for the whole of his time at The Mirror and the News of the World. Anyway, it makes fascinating and entertaining reading, no matter what you might think of him as a person. And in fact, it's a brilliant summation of the last 10 years in a single book, with all the key events explained for those people who either missed the details or were just oblivious to current affairs at the time. Like me.

Right, that'll do. I'm leaving work a few minutes early now, again because I skipped lunch, and again despite being late this morning. I've got a radio show to do, people!

Tune in tonight at 7pm! Remember, only a fool wouldn't.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Finally, the Human Race's Efforts Comes to Fruition!

After millennia of travelling the globe, seeking out new frontiers, and leaving our mark on this homely planet we call earth, the human race has finally found the holy grail, the culmination of all of its efforts into one magnificent creation.

I know many of you doubted this day would ever come, ye naysayers who thought that something this perfect could never exist. Well, to you I say this, "you were wrong, fool!".

For here it is, what our greatest minds thought was impossible, I give you the live (and fully controllable) webcam of a doggy playground!!!!!!!!!

Yay! Even 640 by 480 resolution! And you can tilt and control it's direction!

Savour it, people! Breathe in this moment! It comes but once in the history of a species!

Thursday, November 03, 2005

How Cool! - Firefox Runs Free in Moseley

Yep a Red Panda, also known as a Firefox, escaped from the Nature Centre a few days ago and has just turned up in Moseley in a tree.

Apparently he's spent the last 4 days drinking cider on a bench in the middle of Moseley Village.

Nice to have the Firefox roaming free so close to home.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Mice Can Sing!!!!

Yep, it's true. They've discovered that male mice serenade female mice with lovely love songs.

You can read the article on the BBC News site here. My favourite line is definitely,

"When the males encountered cotton swabs dunked in female mouse urine, they broke into song."

I mean, who wouldn't?

WHAT a Knackering Weekend!

That's got to be one of the most tiring weekends I have ever had.

I'd start my story of what I did on Friday night, but I can't remember what happened that night, except that I was probably up pretty late.


Well I awoke up to the joyous feeling of not having to go to work. I leaned out of my bed to get my mobile phone from where it was plugged in on the floor. I opened it up to check the time, and after a little bit of rubbing my eyes, putting my glasses on, and sitting up, the time shimmered into focus - 9.20am. But then I noticed that I had received a text.

Fortunately I keep my phone on silent pretty much all of the time, so texts from random Lycos women that they choose to send me at mental hours of the morning don't wake me up. I don't really want to be awoken at 2am to read "hi hun, sleep well x". But this text was from my fetid friend, Bobo Fetido (Bob). She'd sent it at 6.36am, and she needed a favour.

OK, I can sense that this story might sound like it's getting really exciting, but it's not really so don't get het up. (het up? Is het even a word? Ah, it is)

So, anyway, Bob's computer had DIED! As you'll remember from my Friday post, Bob's was to have her first radio show on Saturday night, and her computer is a key ingredient to its success. So I agreed to help her buy the bits she needed, and to help her put them together. A little while later she turned up at mine and we had some coffee, some cake and sat an watched an episode of CSI - thereby pandering to my love of crime investigations and Bob's love of disembodied heads (lie).

Then we headed off to the computer shop as recommended by Bob's dad and undertook the very simple task of buying exactly what was recommended to us by the shop assistant (don't worry, he had a beard). We got:

A Sempron 3000 (with heatsink and fan)
A motherboard (I've forgotten what make)
1GB of RAM

We then returned to Bob's and she ultra-competently put the whole thing together, under my watchful eye. And fortunately it worked straight off first time, and Windows didn't even throw a wobbly about all the new hardware. How cool is that?

Anyway, Bob's radio show went splendidly, and then me, Bobo Fetido, Philmop Herringbone HQ and Paulo Santugio convened at the House of Herringbone for an evening's poker. I eventually got to bed at 3am.


I woke up very late, because of the previous night's pokerage. I think it was about 11.20am. I sat and watched a lovely episode of CSI, all about a model who'd been murdered by her photographer (in many ways I felt it paralleled my own life (lie)). Then Paul arrived shortly before 1pm and we undertook our 17th Radioshow, which seemed to go very well I think.

Then, immediately after this was finished I had to dash into town to meet Bob at New Street Station to head down to London for the Madeleine Peyroux concert. Well, the train was packed and cramped, and other passengers were stroppy that Bob and I had reserved seats and so they had to get out of our seats. Then we arrived in London, where I haven't been in ages, and had to find our way from Euston to Euston Square, which isn't well signposted, but we succeeded.

Then we arrived at the concert, where all of the other patrons were extremely old, white and middle class. But then, it was a jazz concert I suppose. Then we went in and watched the really quite unimpressive support act, Tracy Bonham.

I need a wee so I'm going to finish this post shortly.